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i always do

by Jesse Taylor Band

supported by
Gina Kirwan
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Thinking of You, i always do, Unavailable, If You Want Me (Acoustic), Ever-changing, Adore You, and 80° in October. , and , .

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about

I wrote this song in 2020. it was specifically about a break-up at the time. amidst the beginning of a global pandemic and feeling isolated and alone. it's about getting swept back to that dark place of being broken open and wondering if you even can or want to come back from it. it's about allowing yourself to feel all of the feelings that come with heartbreak and ache and grief. it's about somehow always making it through even in those moments when you don't think you can or you don't even think you want to. it's about acceptance of what was and what is and the unknowing of what will be. it was so directly related to that relationship ending at the time, but now when I play it three years later, it's more about getting through all of the hard days and hard moments that will continuously come (cuz we're human). it doesn't have to be about a specific relationship. maybe it is for you. or maybe it's just a gentle reminder that you have made it through all of the challenges, hardships, bouts of depression, waves of grief, spirals of anxiety, fears, doubts, and whatever else life has thrown at you up until now. and whatever you're currently going through, I promise you can make it through that too. somehow. we always do. please keep going and know you are so loved and your presence on earth makes it better here. I hope this song resonates with you. it's one of my favorites thus far.
xoxo, j

lyrics

It's not like I've never been here before
my heart is split wide open bleeding on the floor
It's not like I don't know what to do
it's just that sometimes I don't even wanna make it through
but somehow I always do

I know it's time
our paths are diverging and they have been for quite some time
even if we have fallen out of love
I know that our love was true
and I will always love you
no matter where you go or what you do

I am reeling, I am healing
I know we need this
we really need this but it hurts
it's not the first time I'm crying
on the kitchen floor
my heart is spilling evermore
I'm getting used to not seeing you around
for the first time I walked by your house without staring at the ground
no more looking down

(I always do)

it's not like I've never been here before
my heart is split wide open bleeding on the floor

credits

released July 24, 2023
recorded/engineered by Urian Hackney in Burlington, VT
mixed/mastered by Joe Egan

drums: Matt Sicard
lead guitar: Nick Treis
bass guitar: Ian Greenman
rhythm guitar/vocals/songwriting: Jesse Taylor Cinque
cover art: Jakee Zaccor

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Jesse Taylor Band Burlington, Vermont

Rock, pop, punk. . . we're not really sure. Highly introspective, Jesse Taylor pours her heart out into her lyrics and music. Hailing from Maine, Jesse moved to Burlington to later find out she'd pursue music.

After performing as a solo artist for a couple years, she formed a band consisting of locals: Carlton Yost (drums), Nicholas Treis (lead guitar), and Ian Morris Greenman (bass). ... more

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